Thursday, 23 September 2021

T To Your Health

8 Essential Truths about Pain and Healing

Though most of these insights have been gained in the crucible of experiencing the death of a loved one, there are many other “dyings” that elicit similar pain:

* Death of a Dream

* Death of a Marriage or Other Romantic Relationship

* Death of a Career

* Death of Good Health

* Death of a Treasured Friendship

* Death of Financial Security

* Death of a Good Reputation

* Death of Hope

1.) Pain has two faces: Pain has two faces, human and divine. The human face is haggard, drawn, contorted, and streaked with tears. The divine is calm, assuring, kind, and loving—but likewise

streaked with tears. God knows and shares your pain. He is storing up your tears in his bottle, and your pain in his book. And he is far more patient, compassionate, gracious, and forgiving than you can

possibly imagine.

2.) Your capacity for pain is an indicator of your capacity for joy: Your ability to feel is as important as your ability to think. Though some may criticize you for “taking it too hard,” there is only one “master” to whom you stand or fall: God. He made you the way you are, with a beauty and uniqueness that for now may threaten to undo you, may seem more curse than blessing, a risky, dangerous place to be. But if you can feel pain, you can also feel joy. Wait.

3.) Your faith may make the journey harder: Processing pain from the perspective of faith comes with another paradox—your relationship with God can make it harder before it becomes easier. For example, suppose you were an atheist. If there is no God, then there is only fate, and ultimately any attempt you make to protest or even to understand must end in futility. But in your case, because you have a relationship with a person who requires your trust, but whom you know allowed the event that brought your pain, is it not logical to wonder how this could be love? The good news is that

even that kind of relational pain can be healed, but walking by faith remains the only way to transform it into anything other than pain.

4.) Trusting, even when you don’t understand, is the essence of faith: In the context of suffering, you may learn that sometimes you simply cannot understand. But is it enough to know the One who does? Link yourself to God by faith. Listen with your inner ear as he keeps softly saying, “I love you.” Believe that He can guide you through the wasteland to a better place. When you can’t walk, crawl; when you can’t even crawl, continue facing toward Him, and He will carry you.

5.) You cannot create meaning. People’s lives have intrinsic meaning—not because of their achievements or their quality of life or their usefulness to society, but because they were made by God in His own image. This meaning is not ours to create, but His. Setting up a memorial or establishing a foundation in a deceased loved one’s memory can be a wonderful way to honor that person. But your relative “success” in this endeavor neither adds to nor subtracts from the true meaning of that person’s life.

6.) Integrity is the route to wholeness. Integrity is being who you truly are. No pretense. No hype. No hypocrisy. Just yourself. You do not have to rush your grieving because someone suggests it’s been too long. If you rush it, it will come back around later with even more destructive power than it has now. You should not testify, in public or in private, that everything’s OK if this is not true. God desires truth in the inner being. On this particular stage of life, you are always “performing” for an audience of One.

7.) Humanly speaking, life is painful. Spiritually speaking, life is joyful. Both are true at the same time. In the temporal existence we call “life,” we groan inwardly (along with all creation) at the apparent futility of it all, even though we know that in eternity there will be no more pain, sorrow, or tears. To put it another way, our “story” is but a word or a sentence in the “larger story,” which God is writing. On this side, we understand as if we were looking at a vague reflection in a dull mirror. Sometimes it can even seem like a riddle. On the other side awaits “happily ever after with the Lord.” The first is already; the latter is not yet.

8.) Gratitude is a healing balm. If your entire focus is on what you’ve lost, you can become a prisoner to the past. Over time, for some, the memories that comprise this prison’s bars become relatively selective and, to the point where wishful thinking takes over, untrue. If you are going to move beyond the pain, you must learn to express a sense of humble gratitude to God for what He has given, what He has done, and also what He is doing. In other words, you will live not in the world of shoulda, woulda, coulda, might have been, of if only . . . but in the now, where He lives, perpetually.

This article is adapted from the 25th Anniversary Edition of If God is So Good, Why Do I Hurt So Bad? (revised), by David B. Biebel (Golden, CO: Healthy Life Press, 2014), 9-11. Used by Permission. All rights reserved. Contact: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to learn how to order.

Columnist: Dr. David B. Biebel

DBiebel headshot


Dr. Biebel has authored or co-authored twenty books, including one bestseller: If God Is So Good, Why Do I Hurt So Bad? and the Gold Medallion winner, New Light on Depression. His recent releases include Making God Visible and Away in a Manger: The Christmas Story from a Nativity Scene Lamb's Point of View.

His goal is to help people attain and retain optimal physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health (personal wholeness) so they can love the Lord with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, and their neighbors as themselves. He founded Healthy Life Press ( to help new authors with something to contribute in this arena to get their works into print.

Picture Picture Picture Picture Picture


        To Purchase these or any other of Dr. Biebel's titles click HERE


Share this!

Fueling Wholesome Entertainment

TWJ Magazine is the premier publication for lovers of the written word.