Thursday, 23 September 2021

F Faith and Fitness

Our Confidence Lies in Him

Feeling insecure is normal. There are very few people who are self-confident all the time and never feel insecure. As a personal trainer, I see that most of my clients are dealing with insecurity and it is probably the number one issue why people come to see me. As human beings we don’t want to feel insecure and often feel ashamed about it, thinking we are the only one feeling like this and no one else.


Everyone, more or less, is dealing with insecure feelings. We may not like it, but feeling insecure is quite normal and part of life. It may surprise you, but as a personal trainer, I feel insecure myself on different levels. Whenever a client doesn't show up for a class, my first, insecure thought is...."is it because of me, am I not good enough?” Insecure feelings sometimes present themselves and I have to deal with them.


ConfidenceKelleyPeople deal differently with insecure feelings. When feeling insecure, most people try to hide it, ignore it or pretend it doesn’t exist. Some pretend to have a lot of self-confidence, playing the self-confidence role, while still feel insecure on a deeper level. Others become frustrated or angry. Some will run away, wanting to escape the situation. And another group will become very silent, feeling ashamed. Everyone is different and no one is perfect.


My own personal story of feeling insecure would probably surprise a lot of people considering I am a personal trainer, gym owner, and model.  Most of my life I was extremely insecure.  As a child I felt I was an "ugly duckling".  I was extremely the point that I looked "sickly". I was relentlessly made fun.  I was extremely shy and introverted because of this.  Coupled with the fact that my home life was a very unstable one, the level of insecurity I felt was extremely high.  As I got older I carried this deep insecurity into my adulthood. As an adult I continued to be shy and introverted and thought very lowly of myself.  I had 4 children and poured my heart and entire being...into taking care of them.  That's where I found my security.  Although I have been a Christian since I was 13, my relationship with God didn't bring me SELF confidence.  The reason it didn't was because I felt that I was the way that I was because that's how He made me to be.  I felt that I really didn't have much to offer the world. I felt that He only chose special people to do big things and make a difference.  Throughout a difficult home life in my childhood, being ultra thin and homely, losing the father of my oldest daughter due to a car accident, and the progression of life which always seemed to "push me to the back burner", it was engrained in my mind and heart that I was  "nothing".  I served God with all of my heart, but I did it within the four walls of my heart and my mind because I had no ounce of confidence or belief that I could do anything to impact anyone.  As my 4 daughters got older, God began the process of changing me.  I know it sounds crazy, but He began to do things to "break me" in order to make me a stronger and stronger person.  He orchestrated events and circumstances that would ultimately help me overcome my insecurities and change the course of my life and allow me to realize my purpose and calling.  In a nutshell, these events consisted of losing my oldest daughter's father, extreme financial struggle for years, battling with extreme panic and anxiety, being walked all over and taken advantage of by so many people that I allowed to be close to me, suffering 2 later term miscarriages....just to name a few.  I am not trying to paint a sad picture and look for sympathy.  This was the true nature of my life.  BUT GOD CHANGED IT ALL!  AND HE CHANGED ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT!


It would take me forever to describe in detail the transition and change that took place in me.  The best way for me to describe it is this....because of all that I went through throughout my childhood and adult life, I finally got to the point that I was FED UP with being miserable, walked all over, taken advantage of, being the victim, and not liking myself.  With each difficult circumstance that God would allow to come my way, I no longer just accepted it as the cards I had been dealt, and I began to pray this prayer as each circumstance and situation would unfold.  I would pray, "God, I will not let this situation that I'm dealing with be in vain and for no good cause.  As you help me overcome this situation and I am on the other side of it, I will use my experience of it to help someone else possibly going through the same thing.  I want to help someone else."  Over the course of a couple of years, with a new determination in my heart and praying this prayer with every circumstance, things started changing drastically.  God did such a work in my heart and in my spirit that I began realizing that I was worth being happy.  I realized I could stand up for myself.  I realized that I had a voice and that I could make a difference.  God began to speak loudly to me that He had a huge calling a purpose for my life.  He began giving me a confidence that I had NEVER had.  It was a self confidence, but it was through HIM.  He began speaking to me to think outside the box, to think outside of "my four walls".


When my youngest daughter, who is now 14, started kindergarten, I found myself at a loss with what to do with myself.  I had been a stay at home mom for 16 years.  As God was in the process of changing me, I found myself in this place of feeling lost.  What was I supposed to do all day every day while all of my girls were at school?  I made the decision to start working out.  It would be good for me and keep me healthy.  I developed a true passion for it!  After 2 years of being very disciplined in exercising, God spoke to me and began opening doors quickly.  I pursued getting my personal training certification, was doing lots of fitness modeling, became a co host forConfidenceWall an online radio show for women, and began writing this column for TWJ!  To go from being so introverted and insecure to all of true miracle!  I trusted Him completely and the doors flew wide open for all of the above!  I had the ultimate dream to open my own gym.  I felt this would be my ministry where I could help people and ultimately instill hope in the lives of people and share God's love and power.  In January of 2013 I opened a gym.  And it has been wildly successful ever since!  I could tell of so many lives touched and miraculously changed through God's work and power at my gym.  Lives have literally been saved, deep rooted hurt and pain have been healed, cherished friendships created, hope given to so many clients in so many different areas, and yes.....people discovering their self worth and becoming confident and not insecure. 


I am deeply humbled that God allowed me to go from the lowest of lows and being one of the most insecure people on the planet, to being so confident, bold, brave, and madly determined to help others physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually!  I had to go through "the process" to get here.  But, God knew what it would take, and He took me through it all, and brought me out on the other side to be a confident powerhouse for Him!  Do I still have insecurities?  Absolutely!  I think every human being on the planet does and always will to some degree.  But, it doesn't stop me, hold me back, or get in my way.  I just remind myself of what He has done in me, how He has used me, and keeping pushing harder to make a difference.  I read this quote that summed it all up for me.  It is so precisely true. 


"I'm not a hugely confident person.  I'm just very confident in what I know what I'm good at and what my Lord has called me to God given abilities and gifts.  Otherwise I'm as insecure as the next person."


Our confidence, our strength, our boldness lies in HIM! We must take that and believe we have the purpose, calling, and ability to be the hands and feet of God and impact the world!

Columnist: Kellye Davis Williams


Kellye Davis Stellman is a personal trainer, gym owner, and certified Life Coach who focuses on the health and well being of her clients as well as coaching them to make positive changes that will impact the rest of their lives.  She helps them achieve their health and fitness goals as well as encourages them to strive for and achieve their “life goals” with her message of hope. 

Kellye resides in East Atlanta with her husband Keith.  She has 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren.  She is an active member of The Tabernacle Church.  In her spare time she loves traveling, spending time with her husband and daughters, shopping, and simply enjoying coffee with friends. 



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