Sunday, 01 August 2021

F Faith and Fitness

A Mom's "Me Time"

Following last month's column on finding time for rest and relaxation, I want to touch on the subject of mom's finding time for themselves...."me time".  I am going to start this off by saying the same exact thing that I said as I started last mont's column. I lead a very busy and hectic life.  As a mother of 4, a gym owner/personal trainer with 150+ clients, a radio talk show co-host, a columnist, an active church member, a friend, a daughter, a wife....there seems to be no time for rest!  I love being all of those things!  But, I have to carve out time in my schedule for myself!  If I don't, I am robbing myself, my family, my clients ,etc. of the best I have to offer.


Why do mom's need "me time"? We have all heard the analogy to the instructions given at the beginning of a flight; put your own oxygen mask on before putting one on your children. Our families have a physical and emotional reliance on us that is so natural that it can be taken for granted, but moms will keep giving and showing up even when they’re depleted. If we wait around for someone to finally pronounce, “Mom, you’ve worked so hard for us that it’s your turn! You should take a week or two off and just enjoy yourself while we take care of things here at home!”we’re delusional. It’s not just for our own health and well being that we have to invest time in ourselves, but as examples to our kids. If we don’t demonstrate to our children that it’s up to each of us to value ourselves and nurture our own happiness, they will learn to take their own health and fulfillment for granted or to expect someone to come rescue them when they fall.

What are the major road blocks to "me time" for mom's?  While moms may understand that "me time" is important on many levels.  There are obstacles to making it happen. The biggest one is guilt . You feel guilty about not being with your children....about putting something before them. You feel especially guilty about doing something exclusively for yourself.  Here is some advice for the "guilty".....


1. Get over the guilt.

Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.

Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.  A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give to herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.  Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.

2. Make yourself a priority.

Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love. Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves. Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.

3. Discover your passions.

Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?  Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?"  When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.

4. Gain the support of your family.

This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for you can be a better mom and wife.  Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.


A great way to spend your "me time" is exercising. There are so many benefits of exercising, not only for yourself but for your family as well!  The following are a few of the benefits....

Balance, Alignment and Restoration....Picture someone pushing a stroller, nursing a baby, vacuuming, changing a diaper, doing dishes, and holding a baby. As a mom, these are probably the activities you’re doing for the majority of the day.  What do they all have in common? A stooped forward position with rounded shoulders or a pushing motion.  Our body is meant to move in every direction, using every muscle group. When we spend too much time sitting or involved in repetitive motions, our body will lose its ideal natural alignment. Certain muscles will become weak and overstretched, while others will become tight. This can result in chronic aches and pains and a higher potential for injury.  Exercise can be medicine for moms with aches and pains.

Expanding Your Capacity... Maybe it’s hard to exercise because you already feel completely physically depleted…but what if this could change? Some of the proven benefits of exercise are better quality sleep, decreased stress, and more energy.  Rather than merely surviving your daily obligations and collapsing into bed, train your body and expand your capacity. The right kind of exercise will make you stronger and improve your endurance and stamina.  Physical and mental wellbeing are linked. Being physically stronger and more easily able to complete your daily to-dos will translate to a more enjoyable day and peace of mind.

Busting a Weight Loss Plateau... Some of the pregnancy weight will naturally fall off when you give birth. But you might relate to what I experienced with my first pregnancy. After the first two months, my weight was stuck in the same spot, which happened to be 20 pounds more my pre-pregnancy weight.  What did I do? I faced the fact I could not sit around watching TV and eating Twizzlers and the weight to magically fall off. Nursing a baby was not enough to counterbalance bad habits!  Remember that to achieve a new state, you need to change your current activities and habits. You can’t simply do what’s most comfortable or convenient. You need to work on the weak areas, and push a little further.

You ARE very busy and physically active!  If you are a mom this statement is absolutely true!  This article isn’t meant to discount that fact. A small amount of targeted effort can have big results. Exercise should be used to enhance what you’re already doing, restoring balance and increasing strength.  Start out with short bouts of yoga, strength training, dance, etc. a few times a week. It’s not going to take an Ironman training program to achieve the benefits and results discussed in this article.

You are already a Super Woman.....but even Super Woman has to take care of herself!

Psalm 131:2 But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.


Columnist: Kellye Davis Williams


Kellye Davis Stellman is a personal trainer, gym owner, and certified Life Coach who focuses on the health and well being of her clients as well as coaching them to make positive changes that will impact the rest of their lives.  She helps them achieve their health and fitness goals as well as encourages them to strive for and achieve their “life goals” with her message of hope. 

Kellye resides in East Atlanta with her husband Keith.  She has 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren.  She is an active member of The Tabernacle Church.  In her spare time she loves traveling, spending time with her husband and daughters, shopping, and simply enjoying coffee with friends. 



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