Tuesday, 04 October 2022

F Faith and Fitness

The Truth About Self Care

Have you ever wanted so much to do something caring for yourself and “blew off” that thought when you heard a voice inside your head that says: “You are being selfish!” The one that makes you feel guilty for even thinking of doing something for yourself?

Do you find that the idea of caring for yourself rarely enters your mind? Or you are concerned that others will think you are selfish or uncaring if you take care of yourself first? It’s amazing how simply thinking about caring for ourselves can bring up so many uncomfortable feelings of guilt, shame, or being judged.

Just like a detour sign that is continually pointing us in the opposite direction from caring for ourselves, if we believe self care is selfish we will never choose the path of true self care and just how different life can be. These thoughts and beliefs are usually some of the prominent ones that keep us from pursuing self care:

  • It is our role or duty to care for others first
  • We have to make sure others are taken care of first
  • Self care is an occasional thing if we can fit it into our schedule after we’ve taken care of everything and everyone else
  • Sacrificing ourselves to take care of others first is what makes us a good person
  • Others deserve our care more than we do
  • We are not really worth caring for

Without self care we will end up with little of ourselves to give others. I have learned over time as I finally started making self care a priority that others actually respect it. And it seems to give others the “permission” that they may be looking for to do the same for themselves. I now know that it is vitally necessary in order for me to be the best that I can be for others, my career/ministry, and for God. Ive learned that I can:

  • Wake up feeling alive and ready to embrace the day ahead with energy
  • Value myself and how my body feels
  • Say “no” without feeling guilty
  • Be more patient with myself and others
  • No longer need to care for others first in order to feel good about myself
  • Inspire others to also care for themselves

As a result, I feel inspired at work. I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. It now feels normal to make “self care choices”. And “self care” involves so many different things. It can be taking time to yourself for relaxation, getting a massage, going for a long walk, setting aside time for quiet time...to read and pray, taking time out of your day to exercise, eating healthy, saying “no” when you know its best for you, setting boundaries, and so much more.

Once you discover the truth about self care and what it can bring to your life, you have nothing to lose but frustration, exhaustion, and feeling burned out! We also have SO much more to offer others when we care for ourselves first.

The truth of self care is the opposite of what we have been raised to believe. It is actually selfish not to self care, and by caring for ourselves we truly are caring for everyone.

“A heart at peace gives life to the body...” Proverbs 4:30

Columnist: Kellye Davis Williams


Kellye Davis Stellman is a personal trainer, gym owner, and certified Life Coach who focuses on the health and well being of her clients as well as coaching them to make positive changes that will impact the rest of their lives.  She helps them achieve their health and fitness goals as well as encourages them to strive for and achieve their “life goals” with her message of hope. 

Kellye resides in East Atlanta with her husband Keith.  She has 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren.  She is an active member of The Tabernacle Church.  In her spare time she loves traveling, spending time with her husband and daughters, shopping, and simply enjoying coffee with friends. 



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