Monday, 18 November 2019

M Michele's Musings

A Step-Father's Love

Recently, my grandson, Austin did a family tree project for school.  When I saw the finished project it did not register that my grandson had placed his step-father’s family in the line for his father.  Later, as the realization dawned on me, I contemplated the significance of this one simple fact.  My thoughts led me to Austin’s biological father, who has not seen his son since he was approximately three months old.  Thirteen years have passed since Austin’s birth.  Not one call, not one visit and no monetary support from this man who had a part in bringing this young child into the world.  My heart began to ache for Austin and others that share the same situation of a missing-in-action parent.   


However, immediately my thoughts turned toward my son-in-law, Nakuma, Austin’s step-father.  Nakuma has been in Austin’s life since Austin was six months old.  Nakuma has been a true father to my grandson.  I thank God that Austin has a step-father like Nakuma.   I have long admired my son-in-law for his love for Austin though he is not his biological father.  Though my daughter and Nakuma have two sons together never once has Nakuma showed any differentiation between Austin and his two biological children.  An outsider looking in would not know that Nakuma was not his father. This is an accomplishment in itself.  It is a rare thing to find a step-parent that does not show some sort of favoritism for his or her own biological children over a step-child(ren).  In return, Austin loves and adores Nakuma and hangs on his every word.  There is a powerful bond between Nakuma and Austin who seem to fit together and share some of the same personality traits.  Though there is no blood connection, Nakuma sees Austin as his son and Austin sees Nakuma as his father.  They are a father and son team.      

By definition, a father is to be the protector, comforter, teacher, provider of shelter, food and other necessities for his children.  A good father is there for his children, providing, teaching, spending quality time with them, talking with them, disciplining them as necessary.  It is God’s design that the biological father would fulfill these responsibilities but sometimes adverse circumstances prevent this.  Thank God for good step-fathers who fill these roles with true love in their hearts for their step-children.  Nakuma is one such good step-father.  Though circumstances prevent it, Nakuma has a great desire to adopt Austin and Austin in turn, wants to be adopted by Nakuma.    

This led my thoughts to God and our relationship with Him.  Ephesians 1:5 tells us that God “predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.”  How awesome is that?  I find it amazing that the Creator of the universe sought to adopt us for his good pleasure.  Just as Nakuma wants to be a father to Austin because of his love for Austin, God wants to be our protector and provider in this life because he loves us and cares for each of us.  

The benefits of being adopted by God through Jesus Christ are wonderful and amazing.   Through our adoption He becomes our Abba (Abba Father).  The word Abba means “daddy” in Aramaic.  The term signified a close, trusting and intimate relationship between a child and his or her father.  As God’s children we have acceptance, redemption, forgiveness of sins, wisdom, favor, protection, security and purpose; the list of benefits could go on and on.  God loves us with an everlasting love.  He is our protector, our provider.  He is a true father to the fatherless just as Nakuma is towards Austin.

Many people have not had an earthly father in the truest sense of the word due to the circumstances beyond their control.  Perhaps their father was not in their lives due to excessive work, divorce, death or just plain selfishness.  Others come from a home where their father was mean, domineering or abusive.  Some come from homes in which their father did not provide the basic necessities to get by in life such as shelter, clothing and food.  It is understandable that those who have lived through these circumstances would find it difficult to understand what a father is truly supposed to be.  Even if we come from a good home, with a good father, they were probably not perfect and may have let us down in some areas.  Having a father (in the truest sense of the word) is very important in a child’s life and not having one can leave a big hole in one’s heart.  Thankfully, the Bible tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  He will be your Abba for life and He will fill the voids that have been left in your heart if you will allow Him to be your Abba.  

When I look at my son-in-law and grandson’s relationship, I see how the love of a step-father can change the heart of a step-son so much that you would never know that they are in a ‘step’ relationship rather than a biological one.  The love of Austin’s ‘daddy’  made this possible and the same love has captured this young boy’s heart for life. This is a snap-shot of God’s great love and desire to be Abba to each and every one of us!  He wants to make us His sons and daughters through adoption.  He wants to heal and fulfill those areas that have been unmet in our life no matter what type of father we had or have, whether good, bad or missing-in-action.  He can and will turn all things for good.  He desires a close, trusting and intimate relationship with each of us.  We can have this relationship with Him if we will just trust Him.  He will embrace us as His children as we put our faith in Jesus Christ.  He will capture our heart for life and change us in the process.  He will change us so much so that no one would ever know we were once without the love of God in our life.      

 Love in Christ, Michele

(c) June 2013 ~  Michele LeDoux Abshire
Photo by Tuesday Montgomery ~ Faith Photography


*Actual Names & Photo Used With Permission*

Columnist: Michele's Musings

Picture Michele Abshire is a housewife, mother, grandmother, and full time legal assistant. She has been published in Lake Charles, Louisiana publications, Christian Star Newspaper and Gumbeaux Magazine.  

Michele began writing notes of encouragement to people God put on her heart which led her in the direction of writing short encouraging stories, letters, essays and analogies.  This quickly became a ministry for her.  

Michele's vision is to reach people with encouraging messages that will lift their heart and bring joy for sorrow and hope for discouragement. Michele enjoys your feedback so leave a comment in the form at the bottom of the page or email her at  micheles.musings@gmail.com

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