Wednesday, 03 June 2020

P Power of Positive Faith

I’m Trying to be the Best Me…

It is so easy to get caught up in trying to be someone else. There isn’t anything wrong with looking up to someone you admire. Nor is it wrong to look at the successes of others so that you can learn from what they have done; maybe you can do better.  In addition, there isn’t anything wrong with changing how you look because you saw a particular look on someone else that you really like. There is nothing wrong with any of these.

Here’s the problem.  When you become so obsessed with another person so much that you cannot appreciate who you are is not healthy.  It’s a problem if you look at someone else and see inferiority rather than equality or if you see the other person as being superior to you and you lose sight of your own worth. These are problems.

The best that you can do for yourself and that you can give to the world comes with you working to be the best “You” that you can be. It is not you, trying to be the best “someone else you want to be.”

How do you become the best you? Stop focusing too much on what someone else is doing.  When you find yourself constantly focusing on another’s successes, when you find yourself secretly resentful and even upset when another person is winning; when you can’t execute your own plan because you are too busy watching what someone else is doing, you are obsessing. That’s not healthy.

Life is full of people that you will encounter that can be prettier, smarter, & more creative. Life is full of people who can make the “right” friends, get the “right” breaks and make the “right” connections.  Life can be full of ups and downs, good and bad.  But if you want to make the best of your life, you cannot allow yourself to become so focused on the successes of others, that you miss the opportunities that may be standing right in front of you.

I know that learning to focus on one’s self is a discipline and is not as easy to do, as it is to say.  You must learn to do it anyway.

I was talking to someone recently who wanted to get promotion.  She had all the right skills, but what hurt her was a serious self-esteem issue. She was unsure of her “appealability.” She had a habit of looking at what others were doing and comparing herself to them. She also put too much stock into what others were thinking of her. She cannot control what others think and neither can you.

When we are focused on what others are saying or doing, we become distracted and forget to focus on what we can be doing to better our own selves.

Here’s my advice.  You may think that the person you are obsessing about has it altogether.  They don’t because none of us have it altogether all the time.  You don’t know that person’s journey, just like they don’t know yours.  Focus on being the best “you” possible and when you feel yourself obsessing about others, remind yourself that God has a plan and purpose for you that is uniquely designed just for you. Always try to be the best you possible.

Columnist: LaSharnda Beckwith

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Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, PhD, MBAA, MA, BPS, is an Empowerment Advocate, personal life coach, motivational speaker & leadership expert. She knows that in order for anyone to experience success in their personal or professional lives, there must be a fundamental change in attitude. One cannot be or think negatively and expect positive results. In addition, she loves to interact where she can encourage, enable, empower and energize others.  She is a retired executive of more than 26 years with the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. She retired as Vice President of Eastern Operations. She is currently a Professor in the School of Management at Texas Woman’s University. She is an author and talk show host. Her new book, When You're Happy With You focuses on helping others find value, build self confidence, self-esteem and confront issues that may be holding them back and is currently available online through Xulonpress.com/bookstore, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  Her radio talk show “Living Happy Every Day with Dr. LaSharnda” can be heard on www.LATalkradio.com, channel 1.

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