Sunday, 23 February 2020

P Power of Positive Faith

Blaming is a Cop Out

When I was a young person, I was mad at the world, especially God. I was mad because I felt short-changed.  I didn’t have the things other people had. I didn’t have my mother or father, I wasn’t popular in school, I was raised with these weird Pentecostal grandparents, I was invisible to teachers, I wasn’t included with the popular crowd. I was made to feel like a weirdo misfit.  So I blamed God for doing this to me.

Why in the world was I given such a bad hand for my young life? Why –oh- why, would God “do” this to me? Why in the world didn’t people see me as a smart, talented, pretty girl, just like my grandparents saw me?  What was wrong with me? Because I didn’t feel accepted, I blamed people too. I felt that they were horrible people. In fact, the world was a horrible place to live. I won’t begin to tell about all the challenges I experienced during my teenage years. Yes, I blamed others.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you felt short -changed in life? Felt that you weren’t important? Felt that you were not pretty enough, smart enough or talented enough? When things didn’t go your way, did you blame others?  Do you still blame others when things don’t go the way you expect them to go? I have an app for that.  It’s called “grow up”.

Blaming is a cop out.  It really is.  The only thing one can gain from blaming is a sense of self-righteousness; that is it.  Blaming doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t even make us feel better. In fact, blaming is negative and it draws in more negative feelings. Blaming simply allows one to point the finger at another person, forgetting that there are 4 fingers pointing back at them.   In a nutshell, it does no one any good.

I am not saying that others have not done wrong, nor am I saying that there haven’t been times when others have created problems.  What I am saying is if you get stuck obsessing about the wrongs others have perpetrated on you, you will not move towards the dreams you want to accomplish in life. 

Have you ever met a person who can’t seem to move forward in life because of what happened to them long ago?  They continue to blame mom or dad, and ex-spouse or boss for them not being able to achieve what they set out to do.  The reality is that they can both continue to blame and stay stuck or they can accept and move on. Which will you do?

Columnist: LaSharnda Beckwith

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Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, PhD, MBAA, MA, BPS, is an Empowerment Advocate, personal life coach, motivational speaker & leadership expert. She knows that in order for anyone to experience success in their personal or professional lives, there must be a fundamental change in attitude. One cannot be or think negatively and expect positive results. In addition, she loves to interact where she can encourage, enable, empower and energize others.  She is a retired executive of more than 26 years with the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. She retired as Vice President of Eastern Operations. She is currently a Professor in the School of Management at Texas Woman’s University. She is an author and talk show host. Her new book, When You're Happy With You focuses on helping others find value, build self confidence, self-esteem and confront issues that may be holding them back and is currently available online through Xulonpress.com/bookstore, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  Her radio talk show “Living Happy Every Day with Dr. LaSharnda” can be heard on www.LATalkradio.com, channel 1.

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