Sunday, 23 February 2020

P Power of Positive Faith

Be Kind...

I was just visting with a client and as I watched a specific interaction between one manager and another, I became a bit concerned with the behaviors I witnessed. One of the people in this mix said about another peer, without really thinking about it, “she is passive-aggressive!” Wow! To make it worst, she didn’t just say it so that only the two of them heard what she said, but she said it in front of a very large group.  I stood in the midst of the group in shock.

The person who was the target of the comment was embarrassed and humilitated. As I watched I could tell that she wanted to put her head under the table or run away if she could. I was uncomfortable and so was everyone in that room. I had no choice but to address what was said but I thought that I needed to do so gently and to be kind. However, I wanted her to understand that what she had just done to the other manager was not kind at all. 

That act has stuck with me until this time. I have seen these folks several times and have even facilitated a converssation between the two of them. I helped them work through this problem. As they chatted, I listened carefully and felt that netiher of them had any real problems and that the person that made the comment really did not understand the negative connotation associated with the term.

After that incident, I have thought about the numerous times we seem to insult each other. In fact, it seems that with the increase in technology (which is a good thing) there has been an increase in insults (which isn’t such a good thing). The flood gates have flung open and life today is very different than yesterday.

Insulting one another does nothing for our humanity. We do not become positive people by being so negative with other people. Instead of valuing respect, we seem to value insults and cloak it as “freedom of speech”. When did our values change? When did we go from respectful interchange to out right assaults on each other?  Even more alarming is that many of us are Christians! We, too, have accepted the idea that insults are okay because it’s simply free speech.  We have begun to simply pick and choose what parts of the Bible we will follow. However, Matthew 5:43-48 reads as follows:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet

only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone of us made a concerted effort each day to simply be kind? When we feel like blowing up, we should simply take a breath. When we want to tell someone off, we need to show them grace. When it is easy to say something negative, we should make it a point to turn the comment into something that is positive; thinking always that the words that come out of our mouths can give life or death and we choose to give life.

I know that we can get so frustrated with others and situations that we can loose our patience. But if we want our lives to be better and to impact others for the better, we must choose kindness over nastiness. 

We are told in 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient and kind…” and because I am a follower of Christ, I want to practice what He represents. One can become frustrated and impatient, one can also become angry, but we can still choose to be kind.  The point of positive reflection & positive reinforcment that I speak about, is that we are able to think about our lives and our actions. I am intent of being kind. I hope you are too.

Columnist: LaSharnda Beckwith

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Dr. LaSharnda Beckwith, PhD, MBAA, MA, BPS, is an Empowerment Advocate, personal life coach, motivational speaker & leadership expert. She knows that in order for anyone to experience success in their personal or professional lives, there must be a fundamental change in attitude. One cannot be or think negatively and expect positive results. In addition, she loves to interact where she can encourage, enable, empower and energize others.  She is a retired executive of more than 26 years with the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. She retired as Vice President of Eastern Operations. She is currently a Professor in the School of Management at Texas Woman’s University. She is an author and talk show host. Her new book, When You're Happy With You focuses on helping others find value, build self confidence, self-esteem and confront issues that may be holding them back and is currently available online through Xulonpress.com/bookstore, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  Her radio talk show “Living Happy Every Day with Dr. LaSharnda” can be heard on www.LATalkradio.com, channel 1.

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